Gone are the days of wanderlust, where I’d pack my bags and set off on an adventure with a wish, a prayer and a plane ticket. The haggling over change, the squabbles to turn on the taxi-meter, the inevitable Bali-belly and the self-medicated ‘more alcohol’ cure that never seemed to work have all but lost their shimmer in recent times.
I guess I’ve become a bit of a curmudgeon traveller. When I was younger everything was so novel and exciting: Wow, the different smells, so exotic; the cultural cuisine, so yummy; the language, I so want to understand. These days the heterogeneity just vexes me: the smells usually mean a lack of appropriate drainage; the food will lead to inevitable toilet hugging; and I find it unreasonably frustrating that no one speaks a lick of Engrish.
Anyway, the ‘old days’ would be an impossible venture with my new wife, who thinks roughing it means sleeping in a 3-star hotel; and when it comes to travelling she’s like the proverbial German passenger - Zee train must run on tyme. But Elsa has trustingly, and a little naively, left the non-city arrangements up to me in planning for our European Sojourn in June. We have agreed that I get the hinterlands and she gets the cities – she follows me on battlefield tours, I follow her into Luis Vuitton, no complaining. Tuff ask.
For my leg of the French expedition we’ll be spending most of our time in Normandy. So here’s what I’ve managed to organise. Let me know your thoughts or ideas. I haven’t included Paris as this is her turf and I’ve been told to ‘back off”.
Day 1: Bayeux
We arrive to Caen in the morning via Ferry from Portsmouth England, which leaves the previous night – I booked a two-berth cabin with en suite (probably more like a toilet of the likes you find on aircraft). Anyhoo, we will arrive at Bayeux around 730am-830am’ish. We check into the quaint Hotel Reine Mathilde, located in the heart of everything it would seem.
The main attraction of this day will be to take Elsa to Mont Saint-Michel, a place Elsa particularly wants to visit. As you can see from the picture, St. Michel is the mother of all Sand Castles and it looks beautiful. Apart from taking in all the sites and filling up our memory stick with photo’s, a friend tells me that to sit in the local town with cheese, bread and wine of a type unpronouncable in English, is simply devine. No tour required. We’re going freestyle on this one. If time and energy permits, I’ll take wife to the famous Bayeux Tapestry, depicting the events leading up to the Norman invasion of England, and the Museum of the Battle of Normandy – it begins…
Day 2: Normandy Battlefields Tour – American Sites
Oh, Elsa’s going to “love” this, all nine hours of it 
We’ll get picked up at our hotel and visit the American D-Day sites, including Utah beach, Omaha beach, the Airborne 
Museum of Saint-Mere to name but a few. It also happens to fall on the anniversary of the landings, which, for any dilettante military historian, is better than porn. The tour website seemed like the most updated of all I visited and the feedback it receives appears quite praising of the tour guides’ knowledge and insight.
Day 3: Rouen and Amiens
This is where I’ve made somewhat of a boo-boo. We’ll be leaving by train from Caen to Rouen first thing in the morning, the only problem being that we’re not staying in Caen, we’ll be staying in Bayeux. Given the time of the train, public transport is not an option. Journey by car is only about 25 minutes but Dr. Google has informed me that the cab fare is horrendous. Lesson learnt here.
We arrive at the city of Rouen around midday. And this is where it gets a bit personal. My 
Great Uncle, who was killed in the Great War, is buried in Rouen, so Elsa and I will spend the morning at his grave and check out the city itself. Then we train it to Amiens, where I plan on giving Elsa a deserved break from battlefields, graves, Museums etc, and she can do whatever she pleases – as long as it involves battlefields, graves or museums (only kidding 0.o.)
So the next day I’ll coax her into checking out the local countryside and spend some time in a small village called Villers-Bretonneux, which coincidently is where my Great Uncle was wounded by shrapnel, which ultimately lead to his demise. In the afternoon we board a train to Paris, where I am sure Elsa will exact her revenge.
