So I was sifting through the Reference section at the local second-hand bookshop the other lunchbreak ago when I came across Paul Dickson’s (1982) A Connoisseur’s Collection of Old and New, Weird and Wonderful, Useful and Outlandish Words. As the title aptly suggests, this book is a strange, weird and wonderful collection of words that have either been forgotten or are only very rarely called upon. After about three minutes flicking through this writers’ treasure trove of the wired and wonderful I was sold.
I now prance around the office with a wordsmith’s zeal of the likes only the mollygrubs resent and the gormless lament; and like a gun-slinging wordsmith, I’ve been finding little if any excuse to fire one away, sotto voce, of course. For instance: Bureausis, the inability to cope with even the most reasonable rules and regulations, is a favorite of mine (Man, major bureausis today – going to lunch early); Bladdercock, the use of one’s bladder as an alarm clock, just sounds cool (Dude, my bladdercock made me sleep in today, damned…bladdercock 0.o); and, floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning to estimate is worthless, and “surprisingly” the longest word in the Oxford dictionary, is just, well long (Boss, Tom’s proposal is based on….. floccinaucinihilipilification…. What, you say?….. Exactly!).
But now I’d like to focus our attention on that funny little word we all know as Punk. Today we mostly associate it with vile little twerps or Ashton Kutcher (also a homonym of vile little twerp), but Paul Dickson has dug deep and discovered a broader usage for Punk across space and time:
Punk (Army). Pre-World War One slang for a loaf of break. e.g. “You there, Private, I need a punk to chew on. Oh look, a swallow!”
Punk (Australian) Sea wood, drift wood. e.g. “Crickey! There’s enough punk here to sink the Titanic..”
Punk (Liquor) Bad or inferior liquor e.g. “I think I just got punked *hiccup”
Punk (Ebonics) Homosexual …. nope, not touching this one.
Punk (boxing) A poor or worn-out fighter. e.g. “No one ever dare call Mohammad Ali a punk, even though he was a bit of a one.”
Punk. Bunk. Insincerity
Punk (Carnival) A toy cat used in a game
Punk (Chinese) Insect repellent. e.g. Sum dum bug chew mah bum. Where Punk hai yaaah?
Punk, Cigarette, cigar
Punk (Circus) A young circus animal, such as a lion
Punk (College) Below par.
Punk (College) A box sent from home with goodies in it (turn of 20th century usage) e.g. Mother sent me a punk full of brandy and coke. How naughteh!
Punk (Construction). New guy
Punk (Criminal) Low-level thief; apprentice hoodlum (my definition of a punk in insult terms)
Punk, a harlot or prostitute
Punk, a homosexual who travels with an older man
Punk (horse racing) an inferior rider
Punk, an insignificant person, a nobody
Punk, a new nihilism, which began in the mid-70’s; what Life termed “hip nihilism” – not so new anymore, given that this book was published 30 years ago.
Punk (photography) a photographer’s assistant
Punk (Prison speak) an informer, an inmate who can’t do his time well, a prisoners bitch
Punk, a punctured tire (late 19th century slang) e.g. I’ve just punked my tyre I say…
Punk, a stick covered with a slow-burn paste commonly used to light fireworks
Punk (culture) music, dress, hair and manner of the Punk Rock culture
Punk (Theatre) A young actor (a juve) e.g. Ashton Kutcher
Punk, to be very poor
Punk, a verb, to procure
Punk (measure) a think of no value, worthless
Punk, a young man or young Elephant.
One can surmise that regardless of the brevity of use, to be called a Punk is to more than likely to be insulted. It looks like it’s a bit unfair for the young photographer’s assistant and actor, but that’s life. Punk up or Punk off.
